On generosity as a discipline and giving without a fuss

Giving was something I was taught literally at my parents’ knee. We were not wealthy. In fact, we were very working class. But my parents taught us from a young age that there were others who didn't have what we had: a loving, stable family; food in the fridge; a car with petrol and things like that. Some of my earliest memories are of my parents being generous and giving. My Mum would take food to an Aboriginal family who lived in the small country town I grew up in and explain to me that not every child came home from school to a home cooked meal because their mum and dad weren't able to provide that for them. Another early memory is of my Dad driving the community bus from our small town to Adelaide so that other people could go to the Adelaide market or visit the library. He did that every couple of weeks, year in, year out.  Those formative memories really laid down a pattern of giving in my family. I grew up in the Christian tradition where virtues of tithing and hospitality were imbued in me. These practices have remained with me throughout my life. Even as students living on Austudy, my husband and I still aimed to put aside money for giving. It was always intentional. As I got older and formed my own sense of place and what I wanted to do in the world, that heritage stayed with me. It has influenced the way I’ve structured my career, the sorts of jobs and kind of influence I've tried to have. I'm very grateful for that.

There is a quote in the gospels where Jesus says, “to whom much is given, much will be required, and to whom they entrusted with much, much more will be asked.” I'm now in a position where, through a bit of luck and a bit of hard work, I consider myself to have much, relative to many people. I have a sense that I can give and I should give and I want to give.

For me, giving is a discipline, a practice. I'm big on these kinds of virtues being things that you just do, in the same way we make sure we eat enough vegetables and get enough exercise. That's partly from having very practical parents and partly because I have worked in for-purpose organisations where you have to raise money from other people who are giving. I'm aware of the effort that goes into giving and I am also clearly supportive of the mission of for-purpose organisations. I want to be responsive and active and not sit back and assume that other people are doing the giving. The other driver is simply my commitment to do what I can to help make the world a better place. I'm a relentless system improver, always interested in how to make things work better, whether it's a queue in the coffee shop or a for-purpose organisation trying to do some good in the world. My giving is an extension of my for-purpose orientation as a person.

There are two parts to this answer. The first one is that old adage of time, treasure and talent. I give of my time through volunteering in formal ways through boards and so on, and then informally through mentoring. As a younger person trying to find my way in the world, I was always very grateful when people would share their experience with me. I also found it quite hard to work out how to do that. Coming from a working-class background, I didn't have lots of connections to powerful and influential people. I had to work out who they were and it always felt quite opaque. I made a commitment that, as I got more senior, I would never refuse to have a coffee with someone. But they have to buy the coffee and organise the meeting. That is still my rule. As for treasure, my husband and I now aim for about 10% of our taxable income, which is the old tithing practice coming into play. And then talent. I often focus my giving where it aligns with things I'm committed to and – if possible and there is a need and I've got the capacity – where I can use my skills in strategy and system change, and my network. I really like connecting people and ideas that may not otherwise seem like they go together.

The second part to the answer is that, generally speaking, I like to give without a lot of fuss. That partly goes back to my practical upbringing where you just did what needed to be done. I also know how hard it is to raise money and I don't want to be a donor who costs more to service than I bring in. Sometimes I like to be more connected but not always. I often say that the way I give is all in. Whether that’s with Equality Australia, Health Justice Australia or the Australian Communities Foundation (ACF) – it’s an all-in commitment. If I'm on a board, particularly if I am chair, then time, treasure and talent all aligns.

We are planning to move to a structure partly because I'm going to be Chair of ACF and it would be disingenuous to chair an organisation whose mission you're not supporting yourself. And that will help us talk to our friends about giving as well. I think giving is sometimes in that awkward category with politics and religion. If we have a structure, we might be able to invite friends to access that or we can talk to them about why we've chosen this course of action.

Because I believe giving is important. And I would like other people to think seriously about it as well. Most of our friends are also in positions where they have been entrusted with much. Some give generously but others are perhaps less sure. I think we need to keep gently reminding people about giving and not let it fall off the agenda. Because of the work I do and the network I have, I'm aware of opportunities to give well, and I can help with that knowledge and reassurance. It is a barrier for some people who don't know if the money is going to something worthwhile. I think people worry about that way too much, but that's another conversation.

The final reason is more macro. It's a source of sadness to me that a country as wealthy as Australia has convinced itself, as a collective, that it is not able to give more. I was really devastated to see where we sit on the overseas aid giving scale recently. When I worked at World Vision, there was a big push to get to 0.7% of GDP. And now it is something like 0.21%. It's just so low. And then more data comes out that the gap between rich and poor in this country continues to widen as the rich get richer. I find that really distressing.

There are absolutely people for whom life is very difficult in Australia, but that's not the majority of Australians. We have talked ourselves into a position that is not supported by the data. I think we are generous people if we are supported to be. But that’s not the current narrative.

The scarcity narrative that has taken root in Australia over the last 20 years is really unhealthy for us as a country because it promotes an inward focus. One of the powerful things about generosity is that, by definition, you're looking outwards. You're not focused on yourself. It helps you rebalance to see where you fit in the world. It also delivers that great joy of engaging with people and the community. As we wrestle with massive issues like climate change and global instability, it’s even more important that we focus on issues outside our little patch. Maybe thinking about generosity and open-heartedness to people around us will give us some different tools, different neural pathways to try and solve these big problems. On another more practical level, I think my generation was probably the last to benefit from affordable housing and there are a lot of women in positions now who can have an impact around these issues. I hope it will encourage more women to step up and lead. 

Finally, hearing people's stories is just so powerful. I recently heard about neuroscience research that shows when someone tells a story and you listen, their neural synapses and yours are firing in the same parts of the brain and the story you hear becomes part of your own story. We are biologically wired to respond to stories. This project is really important because it’s encouraging women to align around the same story: the importance of giving.

I've learned so much about people and the way we work. Giving is a way into the richness of human experience. I've also learned that little things added together make big things. How do you achieve change? You work. Lots of people do lots of hard work together over a long period of time. You learn through giving that you can't do it on your own. You might feel like your contribution is a small one, but it's not. I've also learned that giving is a practical thing. It should be something that affects the way you orient your life. It's not a thing you do off on the side. That's important to me. I think giving teaches you gratitude as well. Gratitude for what you have.

On a personal level, my husband and I plan to move forward with a more structured approach. I don't quite know what that looks like yet, but it'll be consistent with the way we've done our giving before. We are people without children, so we are thinking through all those considerations around structure and ongoing management, and we will be intentional with our choices.

On a higher level, I want to be part of a philanthropic community – a whole ecosystem of givers and receivers – that helps to shift the narrative in Australia. To help people see that we are so blessed in this country and we have so much. To encourage people to think, ‘How can I be generous?’ To help with that story would be one of my key ambitions for the future.