On celebrating life and the art of connection

It started when I was around 12 years old in India. Walking to school there were three homeless people who sat in a line, in the same spot every day: an old lady with a wrinkled face, a young woman with a malnourished baby in her arms and a person suffering from leprosy. I couldn't help but ask myself why I had what I had, and they didn’t? And I couldn't talk to my parents about it because it wasn’t something that you spoke about in India back in those days.

Then, one day I had an idea. My mum would give me 50 paisa as pocket money for tuck shop, and I broke it up into five 10 paisas, to give 10 paisa to each one each day. In India, people would just chuck money into their little beaten-up aluminium bowls, and then walk off without even looking at them. It really upset me, and I decided that I wanted to give the money with more meaning. I had been told by my uncle, who was a photographer, that I had a beautiful smile. So, I thought, I'm going to smile at these people before giving them the money.

I would leave for school early to make sure that no one was around, and then I’d sit down at road level, look into each one’s eyes and put the 10 paisa into their bowls. There was this one moment when I was looking into one of their eyes and for a fleeting second, I had this visceral experience that we were the same, it was our circumstances that were drastically different.

Two years later I ran a fun-fair in my building compound with a friend and we raised 2,723 rupees towards a new building for children with disabilities in our community. I wrestled with the injustices in India from a young age and then tried to give as best I could. I guess, this has never really left me.

I grew up in a strong community neighbourhood in India where everybody knew everybody. But when I got married and came to Australia, I became inadvertently isolated over my dysfunctional 22-year marriage. When my marriage finally broke down in 2010, I had no support when I needed it most.

I reflected on the contrast between growing up in a community and my complete isolation at 46 years old. So, I started door knocking around my neighbourhood in Woolloongabba to build the same kind of network that I had in India. After about a hundred conversations with people, I realised that I was not the only one feeling alone and unsupported and this is when I became passionate about community building.

Over the past 14 years, I’ve learned that the biggest issue in our world today is disconnection, on many levels - disconnection from ourselves and as a result disconnection from what we are passionate about, disconnection from each other and disconnection from nature.  Helping people reconnect and facilitating connections on all these different levels is what drives me.

My ex-husband used to tell me I was useless and that I would never manage without him. I set up the Ubuntu Foundation, completely on my own and I've just blown it out of the water. I feel so privileged to give back at the level that I can.

Through my community work, I met a young guy who introduced me to amazing technology, which was an emerging new asset class.  I understood it at a fundamental level, so I invested, and I did really well. This has given me a chance to give back in the way I've been wanting to do since I was a young girl. So now I've got the means and an understanding of why I think the world is the way it is.

I was lucky to have very good accountants. But I also believe that when you decide to do something in service to others, things have a way of lining up. There’s a quote by the Indian sage Patanjali:
“When you are inspired by some great purpose, some extraordinary project, all your thoughts break their bonds, your mind transcends limitations, your consciousness expands in every direction, and you find yourself in a new great and wonderful world. Dormant forces, faculties and talents become alive. And you discover yourself to be a greater person by far than you ever dreamt yourself to be.”

That's how I feel at the moment. I meet the right people, and everything happens effortlessly which is how I know that I'm on the right track.

I named my foundation ‘Ubuntu’ because it’s a South African word that means “I am because you are.” In other words, everything in the entire cosmos is interconnected and therefore interdependent. From the tiniest blade of grass to the stars in the cosmos and all of us and all other sentient beings, animals and plants are interconnected.  Therefore, even the smallest kind thought, word or action will impact the entire shebang! We are very powerful even as individuals.

I believe that engagement grows giving. Going back to my story when I was twelve, I couldn’t give 10 paisa to the someone without engaging with them. Engagement makes sense, and it still informs my giving today.

An organisation can have the greatest idea and the greatest numbers on paper, but before I donate, I need to meet the people behind the organisation. I generally find people by word of mouth. It’s a private ancillary fund so there's no formal or written application process. I want to make it easy for anybody I decide to donate to.

My advice would be to go out there and talk to other women. I'm a big networker and I’ve learned that you have to talk to people and share what you're up to and what you're passionate about. Even if you haven't started yet, talk about what you want to do because the right person who can help you might be standing beside you.

I love that when you get women together in a room, the talking becomes more, and the ideas become bigger and bigger because we are givers and nurturers by nature. So go out there and talk to like-minded people. You'll know what to do. You don't have to worry about how you're going to do the thing. In fact, not knowing is part of the process. If you go out there and start talking, the right people will find you.

I was in a dysfunctional relationship for 22 years, where every time I did something that made me shine, I felt cut down. I think my not wanting to be seen came from that. When the Brisbane Festival printed a flyer with “sponsored by Carolyn Vincent Ubuntu Foundation”, I cringed inside because I wanted to be in the background.

But then I spoke to my daughter who told me that it was ok to be acknowledged. I realised that I want to be seen because I want to inspire other women to do what I'm doing. It's taken me 14 years to be where I am, and now, when I look back on the woman I was in 2008, I can't recognise her. I'm a completely different human being and I'm so proud of where I am today in my life.

I want to fund more organisations that are not just solving problems but celebrating life. I want to see a world where everybody is in touch with what they love doing. This is why a big part of my donation every year goes to the Brisbane Festival because I want to encourage people to engage in what they're passionate about. Robert Thurman, the Zen Buddhist monk said “Don’t ask what the world needs, ask what makes you come alive and do that. Because what the world needs is, people who have come alive”. 

I come from a really strong artistic background, my grandfather was a concert pianist, my mother was an opera singer, my sister is an opera singer and my brother is a choreographer. I was immersed in it as a child and then got very estranged during my marriage, so I'm so happy to be involved again and want to continue that.

I also want to grow giving in Australia and inspire more people to give. As a young girl I had 10 paisa and a smile, so it's not about how much you give, but giving what you can. I want to make philanthropy an everyday term. I used to pick up litter on my dog walk, and that's philanthropy as far as I'm concerned because I’m giving back to my environment. We need to make philanthropy accessible to everyone, every day and not wait for the few wealthy people to give millions of dollars because that’s the old definition of philanthropy. Philanthropy now is giving at any level - whatever you can, whenever you can.