On the power of women and lighting candles in people’s hearts

My first awareness around giving was from my grandmother. I was raised by my grandparents in Taiwan, and my grandmother was always giving, selflessly. It was simply a daily activity for her; offering a cup of tea to tradesmen who would come to our house, visiting neighbours with a dish after they moved in. Throughout her life, there were these acts of kindness, that became deep-seated memories for me growing up. 

Even though we were poor whenever we passed homeless people in the street, she would always put a spare coin in their bowl. And that's why I think giving is not always a conscious act, it's something subconscious, that you do as part of your nature. I think environment is very important, but I think giving can be very innate.

I believe that everyone has a good nature, and with the right sort of nurturing, giving can be developed. The other thing that keeps me on the right path, is God. When times get tough and giving feels hard, I always pray, and it makes me feel energised all over again.

Giving gives me a special delight. When I was young, giving was one of my hobbies because I liked the feeling of it. I would buy little presents for my grandparents with whatever money I received for Christmas or New Year, and if I didn’t have money, I would hand make gifts or perform little concerts.

Seeing the joy on their faces and knowing that I could light up the candles in their hearts, made me feel special. And I think my first experience of giving was as a reward that I gifted myself.

However, as I grew older, I realised that I could do things for others and help in ways that benefited them. Giving became a two-way street, and I felt very humbled to be in a position where I could do that for others.

In 2011, I semi-retired from teaching and my fine art consultancy and decided to try some community work. When we arrived here in 1970, we were the first migrants to arrive from Taiwan. I couldn’t speak a word of English. That experience really impacted me, so I joined the Victorian chapter of the Chinese Community Council of Australia with the conscious purpose of helping other migrants.

I ended up becoming the acting president of the organisation, and we fought hard to retain the Racial Discrimination Act, because I didn't want Australia to go back to when I first arrived, which was near the end of the White Australia policy. As I was doing this work, I started noticing how these Chinese women would arrive and fully support their families but forget about themselves.

I founded the Chinese Australian Women Business Association with a friend, to help integrate these women into Australian society. We wanted to help them to build up the businesses that they had back in China, instead of just giving up everything.

I founded my own system of women self-defence in 1990, incorporating mind and body; I extracted six of the most efficient and practical martial arts techniques and combined it with boundary setting, situational awareness and self-respect. Then in 2015, . I realised that this knowledge and skill was very precious to a lot of women, so I started teaching Chinese women in my community, empowering these women to protect themselves if they were verbally or physically attacked. This was when I started donating the proceeds from my courses to different charities like Chinese orphanages, senior citizens and women’s organisations.

At one of my courses, a woman, who was a lecturer at Victoria University, was so impressed that she asked if I’d be interested in more teaching. I was 60 years old and considering retiring but she suggested a ‘train the trainer’ course where I could teach other coaches how to do what I do. I went back to teaching in a big way but then COVID hit, and I became very concerned about the tense relations between China and Australia. Coming from a migrant background, I wanted my community to feel comfortable living in a nation that they already called home.

There was a lot of racism, but people were too scared to speak up. I started running workshops online to help equip them mentally and physically against racial attacks, but many were too scared to join because they didn't want to be known as participating by the government. A lot of people suffered in silence. My colleagues and I worked together, constructing surveys to help give these people a voice, anonymously. Over a short period of time, we gathered a lot of opinions from all parts of Australia which we presented to the government, so at least they felt that they were being heard.

Currently I am running free workshops for Muslim groups and CALD women. With what's happening in the Middle East a lot of Muslim women are scared for their own safety and for the safety of their family members. Empowering women is my passion.

I think the first thing I’ve learned is that if you focus on others, rather than yourself in the process of giving, the journey is a lot more thrilling and enjoyable.

Another lesson has been learning about myself. In every workshop I run, I’ve learned about others, but I also learn about myself. And what I learned is how much I treasure interaction with people. And the interaction might be transient, but it can also be deep, especially when I’m watching these women discover how powerful they can be.

It’s about knowing how their life can change once they understand how strong they are. The rewards are not immediate. You have to look at the long-term and think about the impact they will have in their communities. They’re going to do things that I won’t ever see, but that's ok, because being a part of their journey is enough for me.

I think one of the things that comes with giving is that you formulate visions along the way because you see people's needs. And I'm seeing those needs much more clearly now than I did 10 years ago. There's a great need to support women within our multicultural communities and they are my first priority, especially migrants and refugees.

I think we can do more around empowerment of the mind and body. When I speak about women's self-defence, people often think it's just the physical techniques. But it's also about helping people to realise that they have a warrior within and a strong voice, and it’s important for it to be heard. And you never know where this kind of empowerment will lead.

I would love to create a free online course on women empowerment, used by women of all ages around the world from big cities to remote towns. 

I think women give unconditionally and continuously from the time a baby is born, and for the nine months beforehand when they carry that life.  But it's something that world and humanity takes for granted. I don’t think a lot of women even see themselves as giving, but they do. They nurture, they care. There's so much we can learn from women’s giving, but so much of it is silent and invisible. It needs to have a louder voice so it can inspire more people to do the same.